Thursday, November 17, 2011

Monday, November 07, 2011

OK Computer Side Note

I just remembered this, and it ticked me off in a major way. He said the internet was boring. Seriously? SERIOUSLY? Anyone who finds the internet boring is A) fucking lazy, B) just not into computers, C) unimaginative, or D) a combination of all 3. There is ALWAYS something to learn on the fucking internet. I mean, COME ON. You can learn a language. You can learn about wine. You can learn about tigers. You can learn about fucking ANYTHING. As a perpetual dork who loves learning and bettering myself with knowledge, hearing that made me feel extremely insulted on behalf of the glorious internet. I fucking love the internet.

This just serves as yet another reason I have NO regrets saying no to a second date with this a-hole. Anyone who lacks the same thirst for knowledge I have is just beneath me. I might sound like a bitch for saying so, but it's fucking true. I refuse to waste my time on those of little brainpower. I have better things to do with my time.

I'm going to go learn about contemporary Japanese art now. Thank you, internet. Thank you for being fucking awesome.

Tuesday, November 01, 2011

Match vs. OK Cupid - Throwdown!

I realize I've been remiss in posting. I didn't have much to say really, being that I had no dates, and no emails really stuck out to me as blog-worthy. And now you're getting two posts in two days? Man, I'm spoiling you.

So, I've been a member of both Match.com and OK Cupid for a while now, and I feel I can properly judge and compare them. I've had merely 2 dates as a result of joining. This is partly because I've been busy and haven't had much time for profile-browsing, and mostly because I'm disheartened about this whole online dating scenario.

Have I mentioned I'm picky? I'm picky to the point of it being actually kind of pathetic. Perhaps. I don't know. I like to think that I'm discerning. But so much of my attraction to a person is physical. It's chemical. It's just NOT something I can get from some typed up words and a few photos. Most of the time, I'm just bored reading profiles. Especially on Match. Sometimes I'm entertained, and sometimes I'm intrigued. But it's never to the point where I'm like, I NEED TO KNOW THIS PERSON! This is why I like it when people email ME instead of the other way around. Maybe I'm just lazy. Maybe I'm discerning. Maybe this whole online dating thing just isn't for me. I don't know, dude. I just don't know.

I haven't gotten any emails on Match recently. But I have gotten a few on OK Cupid. I haven't responded to them. Does this make me a bad person? I feel like I kind of want to reply, because a couple of the guys seem pretty cool, but I have absolutely no interest whatsoever in dating them. And I have a hard time being friends with guys. Historically, they've usually ended up wanting me and making things awkward. This is never something I want to deal with. And then after they confess their undying devotion, I can't treat them the same anymore, so I end up losing friends. And if they're just going to fall for me and I'm not going to be able to be friends with them anymore, what's the point in starting a friendship? I guess I'm being cynical. This couldn't possible happen with EVERY GUY EVER, right? Right. I have actually had some real male friends, but I can only think of two at the moment. Two. Out of all the guys I've ever tried to be friends with, only two haven't tried to pursue me romantically. So it seems it's the overall pattern, and I don't like dealing with it. So my emails remain unanswered.

Anyway, I didn't come here to bitch about how I don't know if I'm cut out for online dating, I came here to RANT! Nothing feels better than a good old fashioned rant. (Well, I can think of some things. But I do enjoy a good rant from time to time.) So sit back and enjoy while I prepare to do some comparing and contrasting, Liz Jones style.


Dating Pool

Match: I don't know, maybe it's me, but it sure seems like all the boring people are on Match. By boring people, I mean the typical people who somewhat believe in God, are close to their families, and want to find a similar person to breed with. These people went to large state schools and possibly joined fraternities. A lot of them work hard and play hard (whatever the fuck THAT means). Most of them love to travel and love dogs. All of them bore me. They just all seem so generic. Maybe it's the format of the online profile. Maybe they're really great in person. But there has been nothing that has prompted me to email a single one of them.

OK Cupid: Now THIS is what I'm talking about, people. Sure, I've heard tell of fake profiles, weirdos, and creeps. But I haven't really encountered them for the most part unless one emails me. OK Cupid is full of all the quirky creative types I'd be attracted to in person. The cat lovers. The musicians. The artists. The comedians. If the man of my dreams is dating online, he's most definitely on OK Cupid.


Searching

Match: Searching is really easy on Match. You can search within a radius as small as 5 miles, and (I think) as big as "anywhere." This is ideal. You can search for physical characteristics like hair color, religious beliefs, favorite activities, career type, etc, etc. Definitely a good search engine on this site. You can also choose to have Match email you search results daily if new members join or whatever. This is definitely nice.

OK Cupid: As suitable as the dating pool is on this site, the search function is ultimately retarded. The smallest radius you can search in is 25 miles. This is great for a rural area, NOT great for an urban area. I live in a big city. I want to date other people who live in a big city. I want my radius to be 5 miles, not 25. So this is extremely annoying and disappointing. I don't want to weed through my search results even further. That's the purpose of searching! But at least their other search options are pretty good.


Matching

Match: Okay, seriously? Match's matching sucks ASS. They ask you like 5 questions when you sign up, and that's supposed to help figure out who would be good for you? And then the daily matches. Oooohhhh the dailies. "Like you, this person is not a smoker." "Like you, this person is the oldest child." "This person shares your birth month!" "You both enjoy dining out." These are the reasons I get on my daily matches. Match, I'm glad you're giving me non-smokers. I am. But can you STOP trying to match me with the oldest child? There's a reason that youngest / oldest pairings work. Opposites attract for a reason. USE THAT LOGIC. PLEASE, FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THINGS SHINY. And I'm not going to date someone because we both like eating dinner at restaurants. I mean come ON.

OK Cupid: I actually really like this method of matching. They ask you questions, you rate their importance to you, and what answers you want your potential matches to have answered with. Very effective. And when you look at other profiles, it will show you the percentage of match you are. However, you can see the answers other people gave, and I find myself writing off people because of things that probably wouldn't have come up in real life or wouldn't ever have really been an issue. So I think they should keep the answers secret. It is possible to know too much about someone before you ever really actually know THEM. Also, they should get on the "opposites attract" bandwagon. There should BE a bandwagon. But anyway, it would be cool if they could give you a few matches a day who would be your opposites. You could either hate them or it could bloom into love. (How cliche. But seriously. It would be neat!)


Interface

Match: Boring. No wonder boring people go on here! (Does it make me boring if I'm on it too?)

OK Cupid: Shiny. But I also think there's some muck they could stand to get rid of, like those random quizzes. It's dumb. Leave that shit to Facebook. I'm serious. Or just delete them from the earth. Do I really care what kind of tree you are or what Harry Potter character you're most like? No. No I don't.


Overall, I definitely prefer OK Cupid, but I do have complaints about both of them. They should just both hire me to give them advice and it would all be cleared up and the world would be a better place. Sadly, the likelihood of that is less than nil.